We All Fall Down
by CountTheCrows
Summary: The fall out from Emmett's one night stand with Simone will be greater than anyone could have imagined. What will he lose and how far will he go to get it back? Multi-chapter.
1. Chapter 1

We All Fall Down: Chapter 1- Burning Bridges

His head was absolutely killing him, that was one thing he knew for sure. He also vaguely remembered drinking some Absolut Vodka, quite a few shots. But what he didn't remember was where he was or how he got there, but he figured the alcohol had something to do with that. And then as he realized his shirt was off and there was a girl lying next to him in bed he remembered _exactly_ what he'd done and who he had done it with.

_Fuck._

Oh yes, they had done that.

Simone. She looked at him and he looked back, horror staring him plainly in the face. This was so fucking wrong on so many levels.

_Bay_.

Not only was Simone his girlfriend's former friend, but she was also the newfound nemesis of Daphne and girlfriend of Toby, who happened to be both Daphne's and Bay's brother. He wanted to throw up. What had he done? Someone must have knocked at the door because Simone got a look of "oh shit" on her face and gestured for him to get behind the door. He still had his shirt off.

What if it was Toby? How the hell would he get out of this?

Simone closed the door and he could make out her saying it was Daphne, but that she hadn't seen him. There was such a thing as small miracles, he guessed. He signed that he should go and ran to the bed to get the rest of his belongings. She asked him to wait and make sure that Daphne was gone and then she let him leave.

He put his other shoe on and leaned up against the wall, sighing. He didn't know if it was relief at not getting caught or because of what he managed to get himself into.

He tried to replay the previous night's events. There was the basketball game, his dad telling him that he was giving Melody full custody and there was the fight….with Bay.

_Oh, god, Bay!_

Had he really done that? Had he cheated on his girlfriend? Yes, yes he had. If it hadn't been so fucked up, he would have laughed at the irony. Only a few days ago he was jealous that Bay had been e-mailing Ty and here he had gone and slept with someone else. He didn't even know what he was going to do or how he would even begin to fix this. Not to mention that he had cheated, but he had said pretty horrible things to Bay and made her feel like shit. Oh yes, he was certainly out of the running for boyfriend of the year.

He checked his phone and there were a few texts he saw, all from Bay.

**I'm sorry.**

**I just wanted to help.**

**I love you.**

**Are you okay?**

**Will you please write me back?**

And there was also a notification of a missed call.

He felt his heart literally break into a million pieces. He imagined Bay at home crying, thinking she single-handedly destroyed their relationship probably believing with good reason that he hated her and he was the one that threw everything into the garbage.

Somehow in between feeling like he was going to pass out and cry simultaneously he made it back to his room.

As he entered, Jackson high fived him. "Yeah. Someone _hooked up_."

He just shook his head, hoping Jackson would get the message that he didn't want to talk about it, but no, of course not.

"Come on, bro. It's nothing to be ashamed about. That girlfriend of yours is _fi-ne_. How did Bay manage to get up here anyway? And why didn't you bring her by?"

But Emmett couldn't seem to bring himself to say the words.

"Wait, you mean….it wasn't Bay?"

He just shook his head.

"That's…bad. What are you going to do?"

He didn't want to think about it though, so he threw himself onto the next bed and put the pillow over his face, and screamed as loud as he could, hoping that even if he couldn't hear it, someone else would.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Whether You Fall

**Author's Note: Sorry guys, I'm having some real writer's block. Therefore, I am going to skip ahead a bit, but I'll make sure to flashback to help bridge the gaps. This chapter (like the rest of the season to come) will jump ahead three months to the beginning of the school year and yes, Bay has broken up with Emmett. Break up scene will one of the aforementioned flashbacks.**

"_Whether you fall, means nothing at all. It's whether you _get _up, it's whether you get up."-Tracy Bonham_

It had been three months, somewhat close to ninety days, 2160 hours and 5400 seconds since Emmett Bledsoe's heart had been broken by one Bay Kennish. There had been about a thousand text messages sent, five hundred e-mails, a couple dozen bouquets of flowers, his own attempt of axe boy so axe girl could have a companion and still, the girl remained steadfast. She was done and he got it, he did.

He cheated.

He betrayed her.

But what he couldn't understand was that her heart was broken too, so wouldn't it be better to have two broken hearts trying to mend rather than two broken hearts remaining broken?

"_It's a lot more fun being angry together than alone."_

She had told him that once before and as always, Bay was right. As it turned out, she was right about mostly everything and he was just wrong. If he could go back to that day, that fateful day, and undo it all, he would. He would have walked away from that ice machine or he wouldn't have yelled at Bay. He definitely wouldn't have slept with Simone. He wouldn't have lost Bay. But he did lose Bay, and here he was, alone, on the first day of his junior year of high school and normally he'd be sitting at a table with Daphne talking about something stupid, but even Daphne wanted nothing to do with him. Well, that wasn't completely true.

She wasn't ignoring him, but their time spent together had been sporadic to say the least.

He wondered how the hell he could have been surrounded by so many people and yet feel so completely and utterly alone. He wanted to cry, but he had done enough of that this summer. If this were a few months ago, say May, he'd be texting Bay, who even though didn't have the same lunch period as he did and should have been paying attention in class always texted him back. She _always_ was there. Why couldn't he have just seen that? Why did he fuck up so bad?

He shouldn't do this.

"_It'll just make things harder, Emmett!" _said his conscience, but he couldn't help it. He needed to pretend that Bay was still there, even if that sounded crazy.

He scrolled through his message history and read through each message.

"**Hey beautiful. Just thinking of you. –E"**

"**Hey! I'm so bored. I hate pre-cal :( -B"**

"**I'm sorry. I'm pretty good at math. I could help you. Want to come over and study? ;-) E"**

"**Hehe. I saw that wink. Do you mean study or "study?" And you're taking trig! How could you help me? –B"**

"**I have my ways :) –E"**

"**I bet. Shoot. Gotta go, I love you –B"**

"**Okay. I love you, too. –E"**

There were a few more, including one a particular one where she talked about some guy hitting on her and Emmett wanted to come down and kick his ass, or at least show him that she was taken. But she wasn't taken.

He was so invested in the ghosts of Bay past that he didn't even see Daphne and _Travis, _ugh, he hated that guy, come over to his table.

"Hey."

Emmett nodded.

"Hey."

He was happy that Daphne was sitting with him and he guessed trying to make peace, but it didn't help his situation. In fact, it just made him more sad. He wanted to go back to the days when Daphne was his best friend and Bay was his girlfriend, but it was clear to see that that wasn't happening, and if Bay had her way it would be forever.

"How are you?" Daphne asked gently.

"I'm great. About to join the pep team." He knew he was being a jerk, but really, what did she expect? He lost the love of his life. Yes, he knew people would think he was being dramatic, but he wasn't. Bay really _was_ the love of his life. He didn't want anybody else. Ever. He just wanted Bay.

Daphne sighed and tried again. 

"I know things are tough for you now but –

"No, you don't. You don't know. You don't know anything. You come here after a whole summer of barely talking to me and you want to play nice? You really want to know how I am? _I am devastated!"_

Daphne looked defeated.

"Fine. Forget I even tried," and with that she got up and left, but for some reason Travis stayed. He stayed and stared at Emmett.

Emmett rolled his eyes at Daphne's new whatever the hell he was. Best friend? Boyfriend? Wilke replacement? Whatever.

"What?"

Travis just smirked.

"Nothing."

Emmett was not in the mood for this douchebag, that was for sure.

"You know, I wouldn't get too comfortable."

"Oh? What is that supposed to mean."

"With Daphne. It's clear she's just hanging out with you because she's mad at me, but Daphne and I are best friends and we're just going through a rough patch. She'll come around and once she does, she'll drop you. Or she won't because she feels sorry for you." Emmett had to admit it felt good to get rid of some of his anger, even though Travis didn't deserve it. But what pissed him off more is that Travis didn't even look upset. He actually looked amused.

"Hmm, well maybe that will work out in my favor in other ways."

Emmett shook his head.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, if Daphne is only hanging out with me because she's mad at you, maybe Bay would hang out with me too." Emmett's blood started to boil at the mention of Bay. Fuck Travis. Who did he think he was?

"You don't even _know_ Bay."

"I've seen enough of her. You know, I've hung around the house a lot this summer. And the other day Bay came into the car wash to see John. You are a real idiot, you know that right? I mean, a hearing girl willing to sign, not to mention she's gorgeous and funny," and then he paused, "and she has a really nice ass."

With that, Emmett nearly jumped over to the other side of the table.

"Listen, you want to hang out with Daphne and be her new best friend, fine. Go right ahead. Go bask in the glory of it, but you stay the _hell_ away from Bay or you and I are going to have a problem. You got that?"

Travis started laughing hysterically.

"You think this is funny? I _love_ that girl okay? We may not be together now, but I'm warning you, Travis, don't go there."

Finally Travis got himself together.

"Dude, I'm not interested in Bay, okay? You just seem so _serious. _I mean, c'mon. But for future reference, I don't think you have anything to say about who Bay does or doesn't date. I guess that's what you get for jumping into bed with someone who isn't your girlfriend," Travis said, tapping Emmett on the shoulder and walking away.

What just happened? The truth is, Emmett didn't even think about the possibility that Bay would date another guy and that just made him want to die.

Emmett Bledsoe had a broken heart and he wondered if it would ever be whole again.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Should Have Said No

A/N: Okay, so like I said, this is not going to be in chronological order. Chapter 1 was Emmett right after sleeping with Simone, while chapter 2 was a few months after the break up. This is the break up scene. Enjoy! (Even though I know it's hard to read or rather sad to read) I'll be updating my other story _She Came Around_ soon though, so good feels from that one. This one is more angsty.

He saw her in her art studio furiously painting something and all he could think was how…._Bay_ she looked. It had been three days since the prom and though he had wanted to follow her, god that was what he wanted to do so badly, he didn't. She didn't want him to, and he needed to respect that; it was the least he could do after disrespecting her like _that_. But then he couldn't take it anymore. How long was he supposed to wait? He wanted to – no, he **needed **to fix this. Bay was the most important person in his life and he couldn't lose that. He couldn't lose _her_.

He thought back to right after prom. His mom could tell something was wrong.

"_I told Bay," was all he could muster. He didn't want to talk. He just wanted to go to bed and cry. The next day though he let Melody give him some advice._

"_What do I do, mom?"_

"_Give it time; that's all you can do. Bay is going to feel betrayed now and she probably needs some time to think."_

_He shook his head._

"_What does she need to think about?" He knew it sounded stupid and it was an immature reaction, but he couldn't help it. "I love her, I never stopped loving her. This whole thing was never about me __**not**__ loving her. It was a mistake, a stupid, drunken mistake. We can fix this, mom. I know we can, but…" he couldn't finish._

"_But what?"_

"_The longer she stays away from me, the easier it's going to be for her to hate me and to want to…" he felt himself getting choked up, "and want to end this. And that __**can't **__happen, mom. It just can't."_

"_I know you want to fix this, but sometimes the best thing you can do is give the other person time and space to heal and if you don't, if you force this, you may not like what she has to say."_

And so here he was, three days later. He hoped that had been enough time, but now standing here looking at her, he wasn't sure.

He guessed she could sense he was there because she turned around and looked at him with a fiery vengeance in her eyes.

"Hi," he said.

"Go away, Emmett."

He inched closer to her.

"Can we just talk?"

"I'm serious, just get out of here."

"I just want to tal –

"I don't want to talk to _you. _Okay? Just get out of here." She turned her back to him again and continued painting.

But he couldn't make himself leave. He came around to face her.

"I know what I did was unforgivable, but I need to you try and forgive me." She sighed.

"Why? I mean, why bother? Our relationship clearly meant nothing to you. _I_ clearly mean nothing to you."

"You mean _everything_ to me. Our relationship means everything to me." Bay laughed and nodded.

"Right."

"It does!" He reached for her hand, but she quickly took it away. "Bay, I love you. I love you so much. I have never loved anyone else - -"

"Except for Daphne," she said interrupting him.

"No. What I felt for Daphne, it doesn't compare. It's not even a fraction of what I feel for you. I'll never love anyone else. You're it for me."

"Hm. Well, tell me Emmett, where was all this love for me when you were screwing Simone? When your hot, sweaty bodies were pressed against each other - "

"Stop. I don't….I don't want to think about it."

"Yeah? Neither do I, but now I do. It's in my head. Every time I close my eyes I see you kissing her, and I feel disgusted. You make me sick! And then you came home and pretended everything was great. God, how dumb was I? Hey, Bay, screwed your ex-best friend, but everything is perfect. We're the perfect couple. So, you slept with her and came back for your fucking consolation prize."

Emmett shook his head furiously.

"You're _not_ a consolation prize." He felt the tears falling furiously down his face. "How can you think you're a consolation prize when you're so much more than that?"

Now Bay was crying, too.

"Right. I'm just your clueless virginal girlfriend. Was that why? Was it because I didn't sleep with you?"

"No! It was never because of that."

"Then why? Why, Emmett? Enlighten me, please, because I don't get it. Why throw it all away?"

"Because I wasn't thinking. If I had, I never would have done it. I never would have intentionally done something to hurt you. Bay, it was temporary insanity."

"Let me ask you something. If I had cheated on you, would you have forgiven me so easily? I mean, look how upset you got when I was just e-mailing Ty. Now, you've slept with someone else, and you expect to be instantly forgiven?"

"I handled it wrong. I handled everything wrong, and I know you think it's impossible of me to ask you this, because if the roles were reversed, I'd be devastated, but I think I would forgive you, because there's nothing worse I can imagine than _not_ being with you."

Bay shook her head.

They were both crying, and hard. Emmett brought his hand up to Bay's cheek to wipe away some of the tears, and as strange as this sounds, Emmett felt hope. She was letting him help her ease her pain. Before he knew what he was doing, his lips were on top of Bay's and they were kissing, and it felt amazing. Their wet cheeks together, mixing their tears, just like it should be, until Bay broke away.

"No. Emmett, we can't do this."

Emmett nodded as she backed away.

"You're right. It's not time yet. I need to give you some time and – "

"No. I mean, we can't do this because….this isn't about time. You could give me all the time in the world, and it wouldn't matter." Emmett felt his stomach churn. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He couldn't follow Bay's signs and her lips. She was saying something, but what?

"What are you saying, Bay?"

"I'm saying we're not getting over this. You and I, we're done. Forever."

His jaw dropped at that word, _forever_.

No.

No. No. No.

She began to walk back into the house, but he couldn't let her. His tears were becoming fast and furious again.

He blocked her path.

"Bay, please. We can't be over. I just found you." Bay just stared at him with a blank expression. He told himself to go on, that maybe this would be what made her change her mind. "I pretend like I'm strong, like I don' t need anyone else, but that's a lie. It's a façade. I need you. I've been searching for you for a long time. I know you think that can't be true, but it is. It is, Bay. I just never knew it until now. And now that I have found you, how can I just let you walk away? I can't. I can't go on with my life the way it was before you were in it, because we're meant to be together. I can't live without you. If the switch hadn't happened, you would have been the one I met first. You're my soul mate, and I can't imagine waking up tomorrow and not having you. So, I'm begging you to reconsider, because I don't think I can handle it. So, please, tell me what I can do, because there has to be a way to fix this."

It felt like hours before a reply came, and when it did, all Bay could say was:

"You should have said no."

And that was it. She walked into her house leaving his heart smashed into a million pieces. He was crying, but he couldn't make himself leave. If he left, it was really over, but if he stayed, maybe this would all be some bad dream. But it wasn't. It was over. And the worst part was Bay was right. He should have just said no.


	4. Chapter 4

Self-destruction is a lot like quicksand

The bar was dank and dreary but the bartender barely gave his ID a second glance so he figured why the hell not. It wasn't like he had anywhere to be.

"What'll be your poison?"

Emmett rummaged around for his phone and when he found it began typing.

**Scotch on the rocks** was displayed on his screen as he showed it to the bartended who gave him quizzical expression.

Emmett rolled his eyes.

Geez, did he have to do this every fucking time?

**I'm deaf**.

The guy narrowed his eyes as if challenging Emmett. If he had been in a better head space he might have been able to laugh it off. Like haha, yeah, this is what I do. Go to bars and pretend to be deaf to dumbass bartenders.

But tonight wasn't going to be one of those nights, and that wasn't going to happen. And frankly, if this douchebag didn't believe him then that was on him.

**Can you just get me my drink?**

Douchebag bartender gave him a pitying look to which Emmett _really_ wanted to say "Fuck that," but then he poured his drink and placed it in front of him, so he let bygones be bygones.

He hadn't really had a plan for this evening; just wanted to get drunk and forget about Bay aka The Girl Who Had Broken His Heart. Okay, that wasn't an entirely accurate depiction of her. If he was going for the whole truth and nothing but the truth, he would have to admit he had redacted quite a bit of the story. Really he was the asshole of the tale. _The_ asshole.

For he was Genus: Emmett; Species: Cheating boyfriend.

As he sipped his drink he was brought back to the last time he got drunk, and look at all the good that did.

Idiot.

If he had just not gone back to her room…

If he had just said no…

If he hadn't slammed his hand against the fireplace…

If his dad maybe provided a stable home instead of screwing inappropriate women then maybe just maybe he wouldn't be here right now in this hole of self-loathing nostalgia. Perhaps he and Bay would be riding around Kansas City doing really stupid teenage crap. Maybe they'd be in his room on his bed and they'd been exploring each other in ways they had never gotten the chance to before.

Not that he'd ever get that chance now.

No way.

Stupid basketball tournaments. Stupid Buckner. Stupid ice machines.

Everything was so fucking stupid. And fucked up.

But at least the scotch was good. He knew it wouldn't fix the problem but it offered him solace, a temporary Band-Aid that covered the opened, infected wound.

At least until it was all gone.

Emmett clinked his glass to get the dude's attention which at the moment was on the scantily clad redhead at the other end of the bar. Freakin' A. Couldn't the guy try to get laid another time? This was a serious emergency. He was in post-breakup hell and needed to refuel. He shook his glass harder and this time it worked. Douchebag ignorant lazy-ass bartender glared at him but made his way over to Emmett.

"What man? Can't you see I'm busy?"

He let out an exasperated sigh. Yeah, clearly he had ruined what would be the relationship to outlast all others.

Whatever.

**I want another drink.**

The guy shook his head but made up another. Then while handing Emmett his drink leaned forward.

"You know, maybe if you had one of those," he stopped, and Emmett followed his gaze to the gaggle of what appeared to be college girls in the corner, "You wouldn't need one of _those_." He nodded to the scotch.

Emmett snorted.

**Thanks for the tip.**

"Just trying to help you out."

Oh, sure he was. This guy was a regular Lancelot.

The plan was to finish his drink and get the ever loving hell out of here. It had been a mistake to come here surely.

And then he felt the presence of someone next to him. When he looked to his right, he saw an average height girl with golden-blond curly hair, rosy red cheeks, and piercing blue eyes.

He was about to turn back around but then she signed:

"I'm Sandy."

At least he wouldn't have to use his phone.

"Emmett," he signed back.

"May I?" she asked placing her hand on the stool next to him.

He nodded.

"Sorry that Roger's a jerk. You should just ignore him."

"Roger?"

Her head titled quickly to the DILAB (douchebag ignorant lazy-ass bartender).

"He can be a real dick….especially when there's 'fresh meat.'"

"That's kind of gross."

Sandy shrugged, "Yeah but what can you do, right? It's a cheap bar and he's actually pretty good at mixing drinks. Gotta take the good with the bad I guess."

Emmett pinched his nose. "I guess."

Sandy smiled at him and he felt himself reciprocating, giving her a half smirk back.

"So how do you know sign language?"

Sandy assumed an amused expression. "This isn't exactly bar talk."

"And what qualifies as 'bar talk'?"

She raised her right eyebrow.

"Your place or mine?"

"Is that a question or an invitation?"

"Maybe it's whatever you want it to be."

Emmett stared at her for a minute and weighed his options. He could a) stay here and continue to be ignored b) go home and be lonely or c) go back to Sandy's place and fill some of the void left behind by Bay. But if he did that what would that say to Bay? That he was the type of guy to have one night stands? Could he ever be trustworthy again in her eyes?

The bigger question that loomed in Emmett's mind was did it even matter anymore? After all, the damage had been done, hadn't it? Bay wasn't speaking to him and in theory, he owed her nothing. Not in theory. He _did_ owe her nothing. He was single and if he wanted a night of no-strings-attached sex then who was anyone to judge him?

Yeah, he did want it to be an invitation.

"I think we should go back to your place."

%

Which is how he found himself twenty minutes later in an off-campus apartment that Sandy shared with three other roommates.

Not that he was really interested in talking. This was a purely physical exchange. He wanted to kiss her and sleep with her; that was it. No emotions, no mushy feelings. Just sex. But maybe he was an asshole for thinking that. What if she was expecting more? Did he _really_ need more bad relationship karma?

As their lips were pushing against each other fiercely, Sandy grabbed a fistful of his shirt and began pulling him on top of her bed.

But he broke away from her grasp. He couldn't do this without explaining what was happening here.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I just want to be on the same page. I'm not looking for a girlfriend."

"Well, that works out perfectly because I'm not looking for a boyfriend."

She took off her shirt and revealed a cream colored bra.

Emmett backed away.

"I'm really not looking for this to be more than a one-off. My girlfriend dumped me, and I'm not over her. And I'm not sure I _want_ to be over her, either."

Sandy gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Emmett, you seem really nice, but a bit misguided. I met you in a _bar_ and asked you to come back to my place within five minutes of meeting you. Do I act like I'm looking for some deep, meaningful commitment here?"

"No."

"Then shut up and kiss me."

And so he did.

%

"I should get going," he said pulling his shirt back over his head.

She sat up, the blanket covering her. "Sure. No problem. You going to be okay getting home?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Okay."

She leaned in and kissed him.

"This was fun."

"Yeah, really fun."

But it wasn't. Not really. It had only been temporary. Sandy was a salve for his tethered heart and although she had assured him that she wasn't looking for anything beyond tonight, he still couldn't shake the feeling that he had used her. And that he had betrayed Bay even further.

"Emmett, we didn't do anything wrong."

He couldn't do anything but choke back his tears because tonight _had_ been wrong. Without Bay everything was wrong.

"Bye Sandy."

%

The ride home was long and cold. All Emmett wanted was to pull into his driveway, avoid any sort of confrontation with Melody, and crawl into bed.

But clearly the universe had other plans.

When he turned his engine off she got up from the steps and walked towards him and hope flickered in his heart.

"Hey. I was hoping we could talk."


	5. Chapter 5

If We Slow it Down, it'll Be a Softer Landing (if We Don't Make it.)

"Emmett?"

It took a minute for him to regain feeling in his entire body. Her mere presence had rendered him paralyzed; unable to move, to think, to speak, to breathe. Afraid that whatever move he made next would alter his life irrevocably.

"Sorry. It's just...you're _here_."

"I am."

"Wanting to talk."

"Yeah."

Emmett didn't know what to do. It's funny how there are people who you can read so well, almost as though you know every inch of them. Maybe you even know their thoughts before they do. But then in an instant it all changes and they are a stranger to you.

Emmett never thought he and Bay would be strangers. It was an uneasy feeling swirling around inside of him like a parasite, a tapeworm that was eating his flesh little by little.

"Can we go inside? I'm freezing," she said hugging her arms tightly around her waist. To be honest, every day was cold to Emmett. Any warmth that had emitted from Bay's love had dissipated the second he had been forced to tell her the truth about Simone.

For Emmett every day after had been an ice storm.

"Yeah, we can go inside."

He stepped in front of her and opened the door, walked in through the foyer and headed to his room all too aware that Bay was behind him.

When he reached his bedroom he stepped aside to let Bay go ahead of him. He shut the door behind him and waited to hear what Bay was going to say.

He wasn't sure if it was a good sign that she seemed nervous, pacing back and forth, collecting her words and what she wanted to talk about.

"I want to know about that night."

_That night_, as if she was referring to the night of the accident or the night of the battle. Some special evening that changed everything, but hadn't it? Truthfully, Emmett wanted to talk about anything _other _than that night. He didn't want to remember it and he sure as hell didn't want Bay to know about it.

The damage had been done. What good would it do to rehash it?

"Bay, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"You mean, you want like the details?"

Bay scowled better than anyone he knew, even Daphne, and that was saying a lot. Daphne could make a stink face like no other, but this expression on Bay's face right now was unlike any he had seen before.

"No, Emmett. I don't want you to give me a play-by-play on sexing up Simone. I want to talk about how you got there and why."

"But I already told you it didn't mean anything." Emmett felt himself becoming irrationally annoyed. It would be unrealistic for them to get back together or even consider getting back together without talking about the events surrounding their destruction. But sometimes it's easier to be unrealistic.

"_I already told you it didn't mean anything," _she retorted. "Well, thanks, Emmett. That explains a lot. That totally explains why you threw away our entire relationship over something that meant nothing."

She sighed and Emmett took note of how innocent she looked. Bay had been through so much. She had been overlooked and maybe even a bit neglected once Daphne came into the picture. There was something beautiful about that innocence. But once they talked about this, Emmett feared that innocence would dwindle into nothingness. Abyss deep into waters Bay wasn't ready to enter.

Emmett didn't care about himself. He cared about Bay. Bay didn't deserve this amount of pain.

"I just need to know _why_ Emmett. If it was..." Bay paused trying to find a way to finish her sentence "...if it was me. If there was something I could have done to stop it. Or nothing I could have done to stop it."

Emmett wanted to respond but something told him Bay wasn't quite done yet.

"I've thought a lot about it, Emmett. Gone over it and over it in my head. I've wondered whether Simone was in the right place at the right time or if you were at the wrong place at the wrong time or maybe the right place at the right time. Maybe being with me isn't what you want. Maybe I'm just not enough."

"Bay, that couldn't be farther from the truth and you know it."

Bay looked at him with sad, wide eyes. "I used to know that."

_I used to know that._

That phrase sent daggers through Emmett's heart.

"I used to think we completed each other. But maybe that put too much pressure on us. I wanted you to be my savior, Emmett, and in a lot of ways you were."

"But?"

Because there had to be a but. A long drawn inevitable but.

"But you were also my downfall. And I'm not saying that to be mean."

Her shoulders slumped down in defeat. Bay never wanted Emmett to be her downfall. They both knew that; however, love's a lot like war. In the beginning of a relationship there are battle lines drawn, fences put up, retreats. Someone's always too scared to make the first move; someone's always afraid to be the one to fall first. And in the end, one person is going to end up the victor. But at least in war you feel good about being the victor. In a war you were fighting for something. Not in love. What had Emmett been fighting for? Or rather who had he been fighting against?

He still wasn't sure. His freedom? His parents? Bay? The world? It doesn't matter now though. Emmett never gained anything and had lost everything. That wasn't how war worked. Love wasn't supposed to work that way either. Or it shouldn't.

"I know you're not."

"Being without you has wrecked me, Emmett. But I don't know if I can be with you without knowing what happened. I don't want to think it was for nothing. And yet, if you did it to get back at me, I don't know if you're the person I thought you were. If you did it to hurt me..."

"I think I did it to hurt myself."

Bay furrowed her brow.

"Why?"

"I don't know."

And he really didn't.

"I was trapped, Bay. I wanted you to stay out of my parents' battle and you didn't."

"So it was payback then?"

"No."

"Then what? I deserved it? I betray you and you hurt me back?"

"No!"

"Do you think I deserved it, Emmett?"

"Bay, I can't even put into words what you deserve, but it wasn't that. It was never that."

For a while everything was still and they were both silent. They had been partners once before, each move made in simultaneous rhythm. Now they were both marching to the beat of their own drummers.

"That still doesn't explain it, Emmett."

"Bay, how can I have it make sense to you when it doesn't even make sense to me? I'm not that guy. I'm not the guy who cheats on his girlfriend."

"But then how do you know it wouldn't happen again?"

It was funny, he only realized it after they had been talking for what felt like forever that they were standing a mere few inches apart. They might as well been on two separate continents.

"Because I don't want to feel like this ever again."

"Maybe you'd just get better at hiding it."

"I'm not very good at hiding things."

"Yeah? You had me fooled."

"I guess I deserve that."

Bay walked around his room again shaking her head.

"I don't want to do this. I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to be hurt. I'm so torn, Emmett. I want to hate you and never forgive you, but then I see your face and all I want is for you to kiss me and hold me and make it go away. But I don't know if I could ever trust you the way I did. You blew that Emmett."

He shook his head in agreement.

"I know."

"I think I would be willing to try."

"You would?"

His heart sped up anticipating her answer.

"Yeah, but it wouldn't be the same."

"I get it."

"I think we should be non-exclusive for a while."

And then it fell back down to the ground shattering a bit.

"Oh."

"I just think it's for the best."

"Do you want to see other people?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know."

"Well, I don't want to see other people."

"Emmett, I can't get back together with you waiting for the other shoe to drop. This is just how it has to be. Rome wasn't built in a day. Neither is trust."

"Okay."

He feigned a smile. At least they were headed in the right direction.

"Okay. Okay, good," Bay said to him, but it was more like she was trying to convince herself. "Then I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked, offering her widest smile.

Emmett nodded.

"Tomorrow."


End file.
